…by your powers combined, I AM CAPTAIN DOREY!

13 Aug

Like a drawn-out expulsion of rancid air from a sick horse’s anus, I’ve found Meryl Dorey’s vaccination soap-boxing simultaneously hard to ignore and highly unpleasant.  The first time I had the misfortune to be exposed to such a concentrated cloud of stupidity was during Mighty Meryl’s now-infamous interview on “Sunday Night.”

Bugger me sideways,” I thought to myself, “that’s a whole lot of stupid.  It has texture.  You can taste the stupid.”

I initially found Mighty Meryl’s seemingly limitless ignorance on any topic more complex than “sandwiches” equally amusing and repugnant, but gradually the balance began to ever-so-slightly tip in favor of amusement.  I watched her pontificate on things she knew absolutely nothing about, while the thin patina of foam around her lips turned a darker shade of brown by the second.  (I swear, there were audible “plops!” when she employed words of greater than four syllables.)

After the interview had finished – and presumably before the clean-up crew moved in to shovel up all the shit information Meryl had vomited disseminated – I switched channels, and didn’t give her anti-vaccination banner-waving further thought.  I – somewhat naively – assumed that Ol’ Crazy would be tarred, feathered and summarily ignored by the greater population.

This, sadly, has not come to pass.

Not only are great deal of people tolerating the stinking horse’s arse that is the AVN, some are actively seeking it, scrabbling over each other in an effort to suckle at the puckering sphincter of ignorance.  Take a quick look at the article by staffer, Jared Reed.  Reed’s article is a short, concise piece on the complaint brought against the AVN with the New South Wales H.C.C.C, yet the comments in support of Meryl continue to pile up.  Taking a quick scroll through the page reveals such molten bronze droplets of wisdom as:

“… Doctors have always tried to badger me into doing what they think is right – not what is right for my family …”

Those bastard medical professionals, eh?  Always wanting their own way, stubbornly refusing to listen to you as you insist, nay, demand medical investigation for your headache; after all, you googled “headache” and the top result was “brain tumor.”  Likewise, who the hell does your GP think he is, telling you to vaccinate your kids?  What makes THEIR advice so good, huh?  Anyone would think that a trained medical professional knew more about your body than YOU do!

HOT TIP: Buying a car doesn’t automatically make you an expert in car maintenance.  Similarly, being alive doesn’t automatically make you an expert on physiology.  Dipshit.

Of more concern was the following comment from someone claiming to be a registered nurse:

The AVN is there to provide information that is not provided by doctors or drug companies. People only get 1/2 of the story from them. I’m a former Peds nurse and have seen vaccine injury.  Why is that antibiotics and all drugs are known to have side effects and cause injury and death and it is acknowledged, but vaccines are supposed to be safe for everyone.

I must admit a certain level of curiosity as to what this individual classes as “vaccine injury”; I’m reasonably certain it’s not the vaccines fault if you slip and stab yourself in the eye with the pointy-stabby-thingy… whatsit… NEEDLE, yeah, Needle.  Also, just by saying something is a vaccine injury doesn’t make it so.  It seems that over-valuing your qualifications and abilities isn’t confined to Meryl alone.

Understanding the people who cry out in support of Meryl and the AVN is simply beyond me.  The only semi-plausible explanation I can come up with is a serious case of chip-on-the-shoulder; I imagine the thought process sounding a little like: “You can’t tell me what to do. // Just because you’re a doctor doesn’t mean you’re better or smarter than me. // And anyway, my mum says that I’m smart.”  Regardless of reason, there’s no excuse for being willfully ignorant, especially where the lives of children are concerned.  Both doctors and scientists are human and therefore fallible, but it’s not the human element that is the basis for advocating vaccination – it’s the decade upon decade of clinical trials and studies.  Errors do happen, but you don’t see medical studies with a 95% confidence limit, now, do you?

If you would rather put any child’s life in the hands of an ignorant, attention-seeking conspiracy theorist you should be beaten to death with your own genitals.  Just saying.


Posted by on August 13, 2009 in Brown Nuggets Of Woo


Tags: , , , ,

2 responses to “…by your powers combined, I AM CAPTAIN DOREY!

  1. Grant

    August 13, 2009 at 9:25 am

    Excellent rant. I actually tried to post to the AVN blog; gently pointing out maybe more then 2 people have died of the swine flu that she claimed ( linked to the Wikipedia article which references hundreds of cases).

    Obviously even reading a Wikipedia article is too much & my post was scrubbed. Odd for a group promoting choice to only present one side on an issue (not that there really is two sides).

    My other attempt was to ask which Japanese study she claimed proved vaccines caused autism; she pointed to a fairly random paranoid blog post with some rant. This one was funny when you find what the ‘Japanese study’ actually found; which is the exact opposite:

    Her little train-wreck of mad postings seem to be heading further away from the tracks of sanity – perhaps giving up on meds is not a good idea for Meryl?

    I think there is no help for her now; but who else is a member of the AVN – and do they know they are following an actual nut-job?

    • stimulusresponse

      August 13, 2009 at 3:26 pm

      Cheers, Grant.

      I couldn’t agree more with you on all above points. What I find truly repulsive is the fact that every last one of these spectacular failures-at-life I’ve seen or interacted with actually believe they’re doing the right thing by their children, other people’s children and society in general.

      I don’t think “Open mind” means what they think it means, either. It’s only when people challenge them with nasty things like facts, logic, and astute observation, they immediately cry murder, all the while thrashing around in the throes of ecstatic martyrdom.

      I’m willing to admit a very real dislike of everything Meryl, but it’s not an argumentum ad hominem when the aspersions cast on her character are simply a function of her own stupidity being highlighted. If someone engages in the media equivalent of swinging from a chandelier and flinging their poo at passers-by, pointing this out isn’t attacking them personally – it’s simply trying to stop other people getting covered in shit.


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