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Monthly Archives: August 2009

Australians against thinking for themselves

First and foremost, this is not a debate.  If you are a fucking moron, don’t even bother.

Now.

I have a theory about stupid people:

1. Stupid people attract other stupid people. (From here on, I will refer to a gathering of stupid people as a “Dorey”)

3. The damage inflicted by a Dorey on the wider community (aka: “normals“) is relatively negligible, given a Dorey numbering 50 stupids or less. In a situation such as this, there isn’t a sufficient number of stupids to ensure the survival of the group, as such a high concentration of fucking morons tends to increase the mortality rate of said group.  (“HEY BOB! SHOOT THE APPLE OFF MY HEAD! IT’LL BE AWESOME, WE’LL PUT IT ON YOUTUBE!”)

4. If, however, the Dorey manages to reach an activation population, it becomes malignant.  This occurs when there are so many stupids, impressionable but otherwise relatively normal people begin to join the Dorey.  This mechanism still isn’t fully understood, but it appears that if an impressionable normal sees a Dorey of sufficient population, they assume that they must be doing something right.  Once this process begins, you can see an exponential growth in the Dorey size, and a downward spiral commences.  This can lead to such societal diseases as: reality TV, television evangelists and anti-vaccination groups.

I’m not even going to draw the comparison between the religious right and these anti-vax idiots; I honestly think I’d be insulting the former and that is something I never thought I’d say.  A lot of the problem has, at it’s core, people like Meryl Dorey: attention seeking, over-compensating egotists that dramatically over-rate both their intellect and abilities.

Australians against vaccination is another prime example; the following was taken from their facebook page:

This group exists to help educate the Australian public about the dangers of vaccination & other nasties contaminating the world we live in, if you are here to learn and contribute stay if you want to argue leave.

Really? I can stay and learn? Golly, that would be grouse!

I’ve already learned that vaccination, which I had thought worked against nasties like: polio, small pox, meningitis, diphtheria, measles, rubella, mumps, tetanus, cholera, meningococcus and tuberculosis actually works with them!  I’ve also learned that anti-vaxers either failed year ten English, or are very stingy on the old commas.

“We have the right to choose and we have the right to every available shred of information to help us make that choice.”

They use every available shred of information at their disposal? Really? Judging from the scintillating conversation and grammatical convention employed on their facebook page, it appears that their research has been limited to studies written in crayon on butchers paper.

“Mj – I’m a Mum to 3 un vaccinated kids that all had interesting arrivals into this world, my eldest daughter was a planned home water birth my boy was a cesarean delivery and our baby girl born in August 2008 was a planned VBAC water birth at the hospital. Ive been researching the dangers linked to vaccines for 5 years and continue to enjoy learning and watching my very healthy kids grow.”

WHOA!  You’ve had three kids AND researched the dangers of vaccine for 5 years?!  Where DO you find the time?  Oh, wait.  I don’t think “researching” means what you think it means; if you doubt me, try referencing that Woman’s Day you read in a university assignment.


Michelle is a qualified Naturopath, Medical Herbalist & aromatherapist with 12 years+ experience.

Fuck! Is this shit for real?! It must be incredibly hard to get into herbal medicine or aromatherapy. (Holy shit, you need to do massage or beauty therapy to get into aromatherapy?!) It really does make a mockery of all that effort people go through just to work in medical research; all those years doing undergraduate, post-graduate, post-doctorate studies.  Lets not forget the years spent working tirelessly under strict clinical guidelines only to suffer constant critical review from both peers and governing bodies.

Oh, and in passing: there was also that little (10 years and $2.5bn) study.  You know, the one that every alt-med wanker is trying really hard to ignore?

 
5 Comments

Posted by on August 16, 2009 in Brown Nuggets Of Woo

 

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…by your powers combined, I AM CAPTAIN DOREY!

Like a drawn-out expulsion of rancid air from a sick horse’s anus, I’ve found Meryl Dorey’s vaccination soap-boxing simultaneously hard to ignore and highly unpleasant.  The first time I had the misfortune to be exposed to such a concentrated cloud of stupidity was during Mighty Meryl’s now-infamous interview on “Sunday Night.”

Bugger me sideways,” I thought to myself, “that’s a whole lot of stupid.  It has texture.  You can taste the stupid.”

I initially found Mighty Meryl’s seemingly limitless ignorance on any topic more complex than “sandwiches” equally amusing and repugnant, but gradually the balance began to ever-so-slightly tip in favor of amusement.  I watched her pontificate on things she knew absolutely nothing about, while the thin patina of foam around her lips turned a darker shade of brown by the second.  (I swear, there were audible “plops!” when she employed words of greater than four syllables.)

After the interview had finished – and presumably before the clean-up crew moved in to shovel up all the shit information Meryl had vomited disseminated – I switched channels, and didn’t give her anti-vaccination banner-waving further thought.  I – somewhat naively – assumed that Ol’ Crazy would be tarred, feathered and summarily ignored by the greater population.

This, sadly, has not come to pass.

Not only are great deal of people tolerating the stinking horse’s arse that is the AVN, some are actively seeking it, scrabbling over each other in an effort to suckle at the puckering sphincter of ignorance.  Take a quick look at the article by 6minutes.com staffer, Jared Reed.  Reed’s article is a short, concise piece on the complaint brought against the AVN with the New South Wales H.C.C.C, yet the comments in support of Meryl continue to pile up.  Taking a quick scroll through the page reveals such molten bronze droplets of wisdom as:

“… Doctors have always tried to badger me into doing what they think is right – not what is right for my family …”

Those bastard medical professionals, eh?  Always wanting their own way, stubbornly refusing to listen to you as you insist, nay, demand medical investigation for your headache; after all, you googled “headache” and the top result was “brain tumor.”  Likewise, who the hell does your GP think he is, telling you to vaccinate your kids?  What makes THEIR advice so good, huh?  Anyone would think that a trained medical professional knew more about your body than YOU do!

HOT TIP: Buying a car doesn’t automatically make you an expert in car maintenance.  Similarly, being alive doesn’t automatically make you an expert on physiology.  Dipshit.

Of more concern was the following comment from someone claiming to be a registered nurse:

The AVN is there to provide information that is not provided by doctors or drug companies. People only get 1/2 of the story from them. I’m a former Peds nurse and have seen vaccine injury.  Why is that antibiotics and all drugs are known to have side effects and cause injury and death and it is acknowledged, but vaccines are supposed to be safe for everyone.

I must admit a certain level of curiosity as to what this individual classes as “vaccine injury”; I’m reasonably certain it’s not the vaccines fault if you slip and stab yourself in the eye with the pointy-stabby-thingy… whatsit… NEEDLE, yeah, Needle.  Also, just by saying something is a vaccine injury doesn’t make it so.  It seems that over-valuing your qualifications and abilities isn’t confined to Meryl alone.

Understanding the people who cry out in support of Meryl and the AVN is simply beyond me.  The only semi-plausible explanation I can come up with is a serious case of chip-on-the-shoulder; I imagine the thought process sounding a little like: “You can’t tell me what to do. // Just because you’re a doctor doesn’t mean you’re better or smarter than me. // And anyway, my mum says that I’m smart.”  Regardless of reason, there’s no excuse for being willfully ignorant, especially where the lives of children are concerned.  Both doctors and scientists are human and therefore fallible, but it’s not the human element that is the basis for advocating vaccination – it’s the decade upon decade of clinical trials and studies.  Errors do happen, but you don’t see medical studies with a 95% confidence limit, now, do you?

If you would rather put any child’s life in the hands of an ignorant, attention-seeking conspiracy theorist you should be beaten to death with your own genitals.  Just saying.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 13, 2009 in Brown Nuggets Of Woo

 

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